“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the
bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.”
~Jordan Belfort
I know I'm not alone in my disdain for exercise, and I know that I should do it more, that it is good for me, that it gets easier with time, that it's more fun with friends, that it's best if you're doing something you like, blah, blah, blah.
In the course of my WW journey, more often than not, it is my lack of exercise, and not my indulgent eating choices that prevent me from achieving the success I hope for on the scale. I like vegetables, I love fruit, and I enjoy the challenge of preparing healthy meals. Do I falter? You bet your Wheat Thins I do! However, I know that one butter-laden meal or even a weekend of coulda-been-better choices is not what's going to make or break me in the long term.
It's exercise that will be my undoing. It's not that I hate it, but I can't even pretend that it's fun or that I look forward to wiping sweat from my brow after a "satisfying workout." I used to know that satisfaction, and I vaguely remember what it feels like. For me it would come after impossible tennis workouts in college. I still reflect on those miles logged and the hours on the court and wonder how the hell I did it...but I'm still proud I did. I planned my meals, packed my lunches, prepared for workouts and then -- wait for it -- I actually completed them. I ran, I lifted, I played. I was far from thin, but I was healthy and active.
Obviously, that is not the case today. Fast forward 10 years and my life as an independent student-athlete has been replaced by life as wife-mom-teacher, and I couldn't be happier with where life has taken me. However, I know that I can't exactly call myself healthy these days. I love to cook, and we're not talking about grilled fish and steamed broccoli; after all, I'm married to a burger and twice-baked potato kinda guy. My day is busy and I am often "so tired" that I barely want to clear dinner and make tomorrow's lunches, so obviously there is not time for a workout, right? I know that these are excuses: Kevin doesn't like vegetables, I am busy (tired, hungry, bored, facebooking), I don't have time...I could go on. A few years ago, I joined Curves for a while, but they had limited hours, so I faithfully paid out my contract after I stopped going. This past summer, I tried and died with the Couch to 5K approach to running; making it past the 20 minute run only to let my 5K goal fade away, and, strangely, I actually enjoyed running, but this was a hot summer, so, you know...I quit. I love to walk outside, but it's 27 degrees outside right now, so I should stay on the couch under this blanket. But I am at a point where I know these are creatively crafted excuses, and now I need to decide what I'm going to do about it. It's easy enough to lighten up a dish for dinner or to pack a healthy lunch. But what about exercise? I know it's what I need, and I am beginning to feel a substantial dose of mom-guilt over it. I owe it to myself and my family to be a healthier me...easy to say, much harder to do.
I know I'm not alone in my disdain for exercise, and I know that I should do it more, that it is good for me, that it gets easier with time, that it's more fun with friends, that it's best if you're doing something you like, blah, blah, blah.
In the course of my WW journey, more often than not, it is my lack of exercise, and not my indulgent eating choices that prevent me from achieving the success I hope for on the scale. I like vegetables, I love fruit, and I enjoy the challenge of preparing healthy meals. Do I falter? You bet your Wheat Thins I do! However, I know that one butter-laden meal or even a weekend of coulda-been-better choices is not what's going to make or break me in the long term.
It's exercise that will be my undoing. It's not that I hate it, but I can't even pretend that it's fun or that I look forward to wiping sweat from my brow after a "satisfying workout." I used to know that satisfaction, and I vaguely remember what it feels like. For me it would come after impossible tennis workouts in college. I still reflect on those miles logged and the hours on the court and wonder how the hell I did it...but I'm still proud I did. I planned my meals, packed my lunches, prepared for workouts and then -- wait for it -- I actually completed them. I ran, I lifted, I played. I was far from thin, but I was healthy and active.
Obviously, that is not the case today. Fast forward 10 years and my life as an independent student-athlete has been replaced by life as wife-mom-teacher, and I couldn't be happier with where life has taken me. However, I know that I can't exactly call myself healthy these days. I love to cook, and we're not talking about grilled fish and steamed broccoli; after all, I'm married to a burger and twice-baked potato kinda guy. My day is busy and I am often "so tired" that I barely want to clear dinner and make tomorrow's lunches, so obviously there is not time for a workout, right? I know that these are excuses: Kevin doesn't like vegetables, I am busy (tired, hungry, bored, facebooking), I don't have time...I could go on. A few years ago, I joined Curves for a while, but they had limited hours, so I faithfully paid out my contract after I stopped going. This past summer, I tried and died with the Couch to 5K approach to running; making it past the 20 minute run only to let my 5K goal fade away, and, strangely, I actually enjoyed running, but this was a hot summer, so, you know...I quit. I love to walk outside, but it's 27 degrees outside right now, so I should stay on the couch under this blanket. But I am at a point where I know these are creatively crafted excuses, and now I need to decide what I'm going to do about it. It's easy enough to lighten up a dish for dinner or to pack a healthy lunch. But what about exercise? I know it's what I need, and I am beginning to feel a substantial dose of mom-guilt over it. I owe it to myself and my family to be a healthier me...easy to say, much harder to do.
Faith came with me to this week's meeting, and she helped me set a goal to work out at least 3 times this week. Since I'm off of work today, and she is home with a "sore throat," I decided today was a good day to dust off a workout dvd. I hate, hate, hate nearly every exercise dvd I've ever played (Billy Blanks, feel free to ignore that statement). The rational part of me knows it's due to my attitude towards exercise, but I still can't get over the music, the "You Can Do Its," and the smiles -- why does everyone just keep smiling while I sweat buckets and groan? Despite the pep talks and the awkwardness of working out with my kiddos bounding along with me, I completed today's workout...I will be sore tomorrow, but I will be okay.
Since it's February in Chicagoland, I will reach my goal of 3 workouts this week with the help of Faithy and workout dvds. I can work through the embarrassment of sweating in my living room and the annoying pep talks from the fitness instructors. I probably won't like it, but I will get over it because my health has to become a priority, and I won't get there without breaking a sweat and overcoming my excuses.
"Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise." ~Sigmund Freud
Don't be so hard on yourself. Just keep rededicating yourself everyday. However, I love the Sigmund Freud quote! Love you, Ava
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