So, when she poked her head down the stairs last night asking to chat with Kevin or me, he gave me the nod and off I went. I found her sobbing and working hard to catch her breath; we had a good day, so I wracked my brain to anticipate her concerns. Kevin and I had just been away for the weekend...so maybe she felt a need for a bit of extra attention. Connor shot her with a nerf gun before she got in the shower...so maybe he was the culprit. She got B+ in math...so maybe she wanted an A. We had tacos for dinner...so maybe she wanted pizza. It took a good minute or two before she was able to, tearfully, say this:
"Why are we so lucky?"
I leaned in to hug her tighter and asked her for clarification.
"I have a bed to sleep in. I have a warm home. I have people who care for me. Why am I so lucky?"
More hugs, some calming words from me. But my answers weren't good enough for her.
"Why is God so good to us when other people need so much?"
I have no words because I have no idea how to respond to a question this big...asked by a person so little. She went on to say how thankful she is and continued to question whether it's fair. I continued to hug her, and marvel at her questions and her legitimate concern for others. When I ask where all of these ideas are coming from, she explained that Kevin had made a small donation to a food pantry the last time they went to Jewel.
"Mom, they're going to use that money to help people have food at Thanksgiving. There are people who do not have food at Thanksgiving?!"
These are the moments where I know my little girl's innocence is slowly eroding away and being replaced by reality. How do you tell her that life is often unfair and in many cases there is very little one person can do to change it? How do you tell her that God is bigger than us, and that we can't always rationalize the things we don't understand? How do you tell her that this world is a crazy, scary place where sometimes the best we can do is hope and pray for those who need our prayers and love?
And in the moment where my eyes welled up over her loving indignation, her nerf-gun-shooting little brother came into the room, and without missing a beat hugged the two of us...his tiny little arms doing all they could to take away the sadness he saw in our eyes.
I just love, love, love them.
After the hugs and wiped tears, we took deep breaths, said our prayers and started talking about ways in which we can help. We truly have SO much to be grateful for, and now, sparked by her father's simple act, my little girl has reminded me how very important it is to spread kindness. We haven't formulated a game plan, but we want to keep it local and help our neighbors...I have a feeling this little girl is about to do big things for those who need some kindness.
