The begining of this summer has kind of taken me by surprise...oh, it's June? Better pack up my classroom and switch gears because it's time to tackle summer. Yes, tackle it, because summer takes work...lots and lots of work. My dreamy summer plans are always laced with warm sunshine, sweet giggles and compliant children. Yet, my summer reality reminds me that I am allergic to the sun, I sweat like a man, giggles are often the products of forbidden, messy mischief and that my children may be genetically incapable of compliance.
Please understand that I relish the opportunity to spend the summers with my kids, it's one of the best perks of being a teacher [insert your teacher-bashing comment here]. However, I just can't believe how very far my summer hopes are from my summer reality...each and every year I find myself wishing I'd have done it differently. Wishing I'd have hugged them more, snuggled them more, encouraged them to get dirtier, asked them to splash me without consequence.
Yet, here I am, day 4 of summer vacation, struggling through the following tantrums and fights, all before 10am:
1. No, CJ, you can't have candy at 6:32am.
2. I don't think it's a good idea to stand on the top bunk and put hot wheels on the fan.
3. Where did you get that golf club?
4. "Mom, Connor touched my wallet. It's so important that he can't even touch it."
5. Yes, Faith, pick out your clothes...No, you really shouldn't wear leggings...because it's going to be 85 degrees.
6. No, Connor, you can't have a knife...no, not even if you're going to "feed me" with it.
They are quiet for the moment, Faith is eating a bag full of Cheerios and Connor is "organizing" the DVDs, so I jumped at the chance to write. And here I am noticing how cool these kiddos are, far from perfect, but so cool. Occasionally CJ will lean his head against "Fay-fee" and ask her sweet questions that she answers while loving the chance to be his teacher. He says thank you, and she smiles. It takes moments like that to make me see that I need to stop being so hell-bent on making summer look and feel a certain way...my summer reality is that the quiet moments will not last long [I'm now typing through Mickey Mouse Clubhouse at max volume, courtesty of Connor, while Faith flails around doing "ballet"], but that those simple moments are so worth waiting for.
I am frequently battling my own frustration and moments of crazy-ass-mom rage, and I need to find a way to control that. Connor will continue to throw tantrums (especially if Kevin's not home), Faith will probably never stop "doing gymnastics" off my couch, and my house will NEVER be as clean as I want it to be, but I hope that with a sincere and prayerful attempt, this can be a better summer. I'm crossing fingers for a summer where my hopes and life's reality come together.
It's four days in, and I need to change my approach. It's not going to be about the big, grandiose concept of summer. Instead, I need to embrace these dry-cereal-for-breakfast-watch-a-movie-on-the-couch kind of mornings as willingly as I do a day trip to the zoo or the water park. Rumor has it these days fly by, and my new summer goal is to linger in the simple moments.
Wish me luch, and I'll keep you posted...gotta go because Connor just grabbed that knife he wanted.
