You learn what you live.

Raising children is an awesome responsibility, and I know that they will inherit the best and the worst of me.  Faith has already mastered my absent-minded rant where I speak to no one in particular, while expecting everyone to listen. However, she also is a beautiful listener with a sympathetic ear.  Connor has mastered his "teacher voice" (especially when he's angry with Faith), but he is so tender and gives lovely hugs and kisses.  Undoubtedly,  I see myself in my children through their words and deeds, and my hope is that more often than not, the good is what transcends.  I know that my job as a mother is to love them and teach them how to love others.

What is devastating and heart-wrenching is that some people do not view life through my lens.  Many believe that children should be seen, not heard; they offer their children "tough love," which is manifested through neglect and various forms of abuse.  Yesterday and today, Bremen High School was/is hosting the Clothesline Project.  It is a powerful display of t-shirts designed by survivors of and witnesses to domestic violence and sexual and emotional abuse.  It offers "an opportunity for survivors and family members to break the silence that often surrounds their experience, and bear witness to their personal experiences."  I could never have imagined the power of these handmade t-shirts.  Stories of neglect, rape, incest, violence, murder, and even stories of forgiveness.  The shirts told tales of violence and abuse done at the hands of those we trust: family, police, clergy.  

Here are some of the shirts that haunt me and one that offers inspiration.  

Many were far too gruesome to post here.

And here is the shirt that has stuck with me each time I've walked the exhibit with my students:

 "You teach your children what you have been taught.  No for Violence, Yes for Love."  Isn't that the core of parenting and teaching?  I pray that my children see the love I offer them, and share that love with others.  Love is what I hope to model for them every.single.day.  I falter, and sometimes I regret my words and my actions, but I always return to love.  

I literally keep crying over the victims words...faceless people with countless wounds...I cry for them.  In my life I have been fortunate enough to never experience this type of abuse, but I certainly know about those who have.  Today, I have seen my students hurting and seeking help for wounds that they thought they'd buried, and I cry for them too.  I know and love people who have been abused and who are abusers, and my heart is aching today because of the absence of love and protection and the sad abundance of violence.

Last night the kids and I added these survivors, victims and victimizers to our prayers, and we will keep them there.  I will also keep these words in my head as I parent my children and love those around me:

"You teach your children what you have been taught.  
No for Violence, Yes for Love."

Love, love, love...